Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is my Dad's 75th birthday, and even though physically he's no longer with us, I can feel him all around me today. I figured I'd post part of the eulogy I gave at my dad's memorial service just to give you all an idea of what a great Father he was...we wish you were here to blow out the candles today.


A jingling pocket,
A whiskery kiss.
And hundreds of answers
to “Daddy, what’s this?”
A spot on his lap
for his sweet little miss.
A buddy for life...
That’s my Dad.

A hand on my shoulder.
Some help with a class.
A heart-to-heart talk.
And money for gas.
In difficult times,
A “This, too, will pass.”
An anchor of strength...
That’s my Dad.

A door open wide.
A welcoming smile.
A cheerful embrace
and a “Please stay awhile.”
A love that has followed me
mile after mile.
The feeling of home...
That’s my Dad.

How do you come to terms with the loss of your beloved father? How do you find happiness again? How do you move forward despite your aching heart, emptiness and sadness? It's like I'm in the midst of a nightmare that doesn't disappear when I wake up. I desperately want to find peace within myself about my father's death. I want my faith to reassure me that my Dad is still with me in spirit. I think if I take this time to share the kind of man my Dad was, we might all feel like he is still very much alive.

So many words come to mind when I think of my Dad, but the few that stand out are strong, nurturing, funny, brave and honest...he was a person of devotion and integrity, a man who understood a hard day’s work.

I truly believe that my Dad’s greatest accomplishment in life was his family. My father poured vast amounts of love and energy into our family. He was a devoted husband to our Mom for over 50 years...50 YEARS!! They were partners in crime, and I can often remember sneaking downstairs and “catching” them snuggled up on the couch like two teenagers.

He was a nurturing Dad. He loved us with the passion and the devotion that encompassed his life. He taught us to believe in ourselves, to stand up for ourselves, to know ourselves and to accept responsibility for ourselves.

We knew we were the luckiest kids in the world. And we had done nothing to actually deserve it. It was instead something that we would have to spend the rest of our lives working very hard to live up to. He gave us a lot of tools. We were taught to take nothing for granted. He doted on us but didn't indulge. He had infinite patience with us. He encouraged us to push ourselves, to test limits, to challenge anyone and anything. There were certain basic principles that could never be compromised.

He taught us how to be loving, responsible adults but he also taught us how to have fun. He was a man of few words, but I can remember him taking my hand as a little girl and walking on the beach with me. I can remember when he taught me how to drive a stick because my Mom was too terrified to get in the car with me. I can remember seeking out my father in the sea of parents on my high school graduation day and seeing the pride in his eyes, and I can remember him whispering words of encouragement to me as he wiped my tears away on my wedding day.

He was a loving Pop-Pop and Great Poppy. His grandchildren and great-grandchildren completed him. My Dad just swelled with pride when someone asked him about them. He celebrated when you each took your first steps, lost your first tooth, and had your first day of Kindergarten. He was there for countless basketball, football and soccer games. Always there to cheer on his Grandkids. He was there answering life’s questions for you, and putting his arms around you when you needed a hug. I can remember the day of my Nana’s funeral. I can remember seeing my Dad’s heart breaking as he said good-bye and I can remember my niece’s and nephew’s taking to my Dad like a magnet. I know it was so hard for them to see him in so much pain, and they were returning the favor and comforting him as he had always done them.

He was a devoted Son and proud brother.

In January of 2007 my Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. There's no doubt that these past seventeen months, which have been excruciating for my father and for his family and friends, have been for a reason. To me, the Lord wanted to give us all a transition period from life with this wonderful man to life without him. It was a tough road...tough for him to experience, and tough for us to watch.

The fact that he fought so hard right until the end did not surprise anyone who knew him. Seemingly everyday there was something new staring him right in the face, and he stared right back. He didn't ever say, "Why me," or question and complain about the many tests he had to endure or the many medications he had to take. Instead he faced it head on...he knew this was his reality.

He bore the disease in dignity, but it also greatly saddened and frustrated him. He had always been an active man, who took full responsibility and dove into action whenever action was required. For him to have to give in and let others do the work that he wanted to do, merely because a horrible disease was ravaging his body was almost more than he could bear. Even on his death bed, when his family came to see him, on more than one occasion, he would struggle to wake up and "join the party" even though his body wouldn't let him do it.

So you see, the reason I love my Dad is because I am my father’s daughter. What I am is because of him and that is the greatest gift anyone can bestow upon another person, particularly their child. I hope that when my time comes, I am half as loved by my friends and family as he was by his. Because if that is how I am remembered, just like my father, mine will have been a life worth living. All of us here are suffering from the loss of my Dad, but the world will also now suffer from the loss of a great man who had much more to do on this earth. If I could see my Dad one more time, I would tell him that I love him, that I am so proud of the life he led, and I will keep him in my heart always.

So many rich memories
and words of advice.
Unwavering love
and immense sacrifice.
The great guy who makes it
so easy and nice
to point to with pride...
That’s my Dad.