Thursday, October 30, 2008

He's here, he's here!!!!

Baby Stellan arrived beautiful and healthy yesterday morning!!! What an awesome gift from an awesome God!!! Praise our heavenly Father above for healing Stellan...he truly does work miracles!! Check out MckMama's blog for the whole story and some amazing pics of Baby Stellan!!!

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him." (Psalm 28:7)".

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

When your hut's on fire...

One of my very good friends sent this to me this morning in an couldn't have come at a better time. Hopefully by sharing it, I'll help someone else know what to do when their hut is on fire.

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him. Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions. One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, "God! How could you do this to me?" Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island! It had come to rescue him! "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

The Moral of This Story: It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

You like me, you really do!!

Nine over at Nine Months graciously bestowed upon me the "I {heart} Your Blog Award". I am truly honored...thanks so much!!

There are so many wonderful blogs out there and choosing only seven is so difficult. To those I have left out, I hope you understand.

The Rules:

1. The winner can put the logo on his/her blog
2. Link the person you received your award from
3. Nominate at least seven other blogs
4. Put links of those blogs on yours, and
5. Leave a message on the blogs that you've nominated

With that being said, I in turn, am handing out this award to the following ladies responsible for these amazing blogs:

I Wonder If They Will Have His Eyes.....
Love, Pain & The Whole Crazy Thing
My TTC Journey and More
Bill, Miss and Brood
...Into the Womb
I can't stop the rain...
Thoughts from the mind of MayDayGirl...

Thanks for being so supportive and such a comfort to others, even as you've walked your own difficult paths!

Results...and a punch in the stomach

Yeah, well, our nurse from the RE's office called with the results of my CD3 b/w and hubby's repeat SA on Friday afternoon as I was getting my nails done...wonderful timing! All I can say is all is not well. Apparently my FSH level is 13, and A's morphology and motility were horrendous. The FSH level has me extremely concerned, being that I'm only 33. The nurse said that my Dr. was concerned as well, and will probably only attempt one IUI/injectables cycle and then move right to IVF. And we're both so confused about A's was only a little over a month ago that he was tested and everything looked great. We're praying so hard that it was just a fluke, but needless to say we're both heartbroken. I know that we still have a chance of conceiving and having a successfull pregnancy, but we're just so sad. Why can't we just be "normal" like everyone else? Why does it have to be so hard for us, and so easy for others? A has to repeat his SA in two weeks, and I'm going to talk to our nurse about repeating the CD3 b/w my next cycle. I have my HSG scheduled for Friday, so hopefully that goes smoothly and there aren't any problems with my tubes. The "why me's?" are just eating me up though...and I'm terrified of having to possibly go the IVF route.

Then, the punch in the stomach came Sunday during dinner at my brother' niece is pregnant with her second, due in early June. Seriously, if I could have just melted into the floorboards and disappeared I would have. What made it even worse was that A was home sick, so I was there by myself. I was so tempted to call him to have him come and pick me up. I don't know why, but part of me felt so betrayed. What made me feel like an even bigger jerk was that I couldn't even bring myself to congratulate them. I am so very happy for them, but their great news just couldn't have come at a worse time. I'm really just having such a difficult time dealing with all this right now, and finding it very hard to stay positive and keep faith that God has bigger plans for us. I know in my heart that things could be alot worse, and that we should be thankful for only having these small problems, but it's consuming me. I'm praying so hard for strength, for positivity and for God to continue to watch over us. I pray that the medical world continues to make strides with IF, and I pray for all my fellow ladies out there who are dealing with some form of inferti.lity or a loss. I'm trying to remember that when the road seems toughest, we can lay our burdens on our Father and he will carry them for us.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


my Dad. Today marks two months since we lost my Dad. Of course, some days are better than others, but today is just such a sad day for me. I know that I'm not alone in my grief. My parents would have celebrated their 52nd wedding anniversary on Monday...52 years!! I can only wish that God allows me half of that with A. I just miss him so much today. The feelings kind of hit me out of nowhere as I looked at the calendar. Add that to the fact that I'm on hormone overload with AF, dreading my blood work tomorrow a.m. (I HATE needles!!) and am terrified of my impending HSG next week. I'm just a mess! Anyway, if you could send up some prayers for us today it would be greatly appreciated. I'm really trying to keep it together...

"Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted" (Matthew 5:4)".

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


little Miss Skyler Quinn!!! I know, I know, I'm completely late in posting this as she made her grand entrance on October 3rd, but she is a little doll!! Congratulations to my beautiful niece Kasey & Ed, and thanks for making me a Great Auntie again!

We love you so much baby girl!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Secret is in the Sauce!!

I recently stumbled upon an awesome blog created by Heather and Tiffany called "The Secret is in the Sauce". SITS (as it's affectionatley referred to) was created as a way for bloggers to get exposure and connect with other bloggers through comments, love and support. Please check them out and sign up to support your fellow SITStas!!!


Happy Thursday!!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Well, we've been diagnosed...

I know, I know, our appt. was last Wedn.esday, but work has been literally kicking my butt!! Anyway, our "official" diagnosis as of right now is "Infertility of Unspecified Origin". Broken down that pretty much means that they have no idea why we haven't be able to conceive again. Our appt. was really enlightening though. We love our doctor and are extremely optimistic that they will be able to get us pregnant.

A has to repeat his SA because his WBC was a little high. They put him on antibiotics for ten days, after which he'll make another deposit and also get his blood work completed. All his other numbers were perfect, praise God! I also had my very first visit with the "wand". He did an ultrasound of my uterus and found some fibroids...nothing serious. Very small and also very common. I got to see that my ovaries had apparently been working overtime and I had a huge egg that was ready to burst! It was actually pretty cool!! At least my body is doing something right!! He showed me the catheter that they use for the IUI (so tiny!), and measured my cervix which was a little uncomfortable...just a little cramping when they inserted it, but nothing I can't handle. So, now I just have to schedule my CD3 b/w and schedule my HSG.

Soooo, once all that is completed we'll be gearing up for our first IUI!!! Because my Mom started showing symptoms of menopause at age 33 (yeah, crazy right!!), we'll be skipping the Clo.mid and going right to either G.onal F or Folli.stim, with an Ovi.drel trigger the day before the IUI. We'll also be doing a two day IUI to better our chances of conceiving. Then b/w @ 15dpiui and hopefully a BFP! Seriously, this is the first time in so long that I've felt so optimistic about getting pregnant! What a wonderful feeling! Hopefully it will last!!

"God will not permit any troubles to come upon us, unless He has a specific plan by which great blessings can come out of the difficulty.".

Thursday, October 2, 2008

10.15.08 Take Action!!!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: Take Action
October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day in the United States. More than 25,000 children are stillborn in the United States every year leaving mothers, entire families and communities devastated. Estimates of the rate of occurrence of stillbirth make it at least as common as autism.

Stillbirth is not an intractable problem. Greater research would likely significantly reduce it's incidence, but good research requires good data. H.R. 5979: Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act is under consideration by Congress. This proposed bill would standardize stillbirth investigation and diagnosis, thus providing more data for the needed research. Better research means fewer children born still.

On October 15th, remember the thousands of unfinished children lost and the families who remain to grieve them. Honor them by taking action. Let's help pass H.R. 5979.

Action Steps

Step 1. Use Your Blog to Enlist Others-Copy the contents of this entire post and publish it on your blog immediately.
GOAL: Enlist 10 of your readers to spread the word

Step 2. Use Your E-mail to Enlist Others-E-mail 5 bloggers and ask them (nicely and in an unspammy way) to publish these action steps on their blog. Consider contacting celebrity bloggers, political bloggers, medical bloggers, or bloggers who are not part of your reading community.
GOAL: Enlist 3 bloggers outside of your normal blog sphere to spread the word in other online communities.

Step 3. Help Pass the Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act-By October 15th, publish a post on your blog supporting H.R. 5979 Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act. For maximum impact, title your post: "Stillbirth Awareness and Research Act."
GOAL: 1,000,000 Google results on October 15th when that term is searched for. Currently, Google only returns 20,400 pages - most of which have nothing to do with the bill.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

All's quiet...

Not much to report on...finally got our paperwork sent back out to the RE last Friday (thanks Hubby!). They're supposed to call us to confirm everything, so hopefully I didn't miss filling anything in (although I'm sure I forgot to put in A's SSN# somewhere)...does anyone know why they even need that info (?), and I couldn't for the life of me remember my blood type and of course couldn't find my little card from when I last donated! Ugh! I'm honestly surprised that they neglected to ask me for my shoe size, since it seems like they asked for everything else!

Anyway, as I was fulfilling my daily addiction to, I found this oh so interesting article which really burned my biscuits to say the least...take a peek if you've got a minute to spare.

And lastly I just wanted to say thanks to those ladies who offered up prayers and kind words on my last post. As so many of you know, dealing with IF can really bring you down. Even though "we" all know we're not alone going through it, sometimes the reality of it all just eats us up and makes us feel like we're the only ones. Some days staying positive just isn't an option. You guys really made re-group and look at all the positive things that have come out of this journey so far, and I really appreciate that...thanks!

"May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done." (Ruth 2:12).