The Waiting Game

Yup, that's exactly what I'm playing right now and I hate it! I wish time would just stage right and fast forward to Friday, but alas, I'm not that lucky! I'm 8dp3dt and I got nothing! Well, I mean besides the soreness from the progesterone shots, which seem to be giving me a lot of heartache this time around, I've had a bit of heartburn, some fatigue and some cramping on Saturday and Sunday, but that's it and they're all normal PMS symptoms for me, I might add. It's 'technically' CD28 and I'm a to-the-date kind of girl. However, I'm chalking up the lack of AF symptoms to the fact that I "ovulated" much later than usual this month. And so we wait....tick, tock, tick, tock...

Hubby will be leaving late Friday morning for an all weekend bachelor party , which means he won't be home when the news comes in. Devastating if it's yet another negative! I've told my girlfriend that if she sees me trying to drown myself in our front yard sprinkler to come and save me! I do have a bachelorette party myself on Saturday night, so I can always drown my sorrows there, but you know, I'd really like to NOT be partaking in the alcohol consumption. I asked Hubby if he thought I should test before Friday and he said yes. He voted for Thursday, me for Friday morning. Either way, I'm not yet sure what I'll do. Part of me wants to know, and yet part of me wants to hold on to the not knowing as long as I can. Does that make sense? I guess I'm really just so damn afraid of disappointment again, that I'd rather just not know anything at all until Friday. Not knowing means that I can still hold out hope until they call. Not know means that I still have a chance. All my faith is in God, and we're praying with everything we have that this time it's our turn.

"God always gives His best to
those that leave the choice with Him."
~Anonymous~.

Playing Catch-up....

Hello friends, yes, I have been a very bad blogger. I must confess...it's been over a week since my trigger post, and I have absolutely no excuse for NOT posting other than sheer laziness! I'm not sure how I let that much time get away from me, but as I was sitting having lunch today I realized that I had, and that I had missed posting our retrieval and transfer updates? Hmmm, I hope it's not too late!

So, to catch up, we triggered last Thursday night and had our transfer on Friday morning. Here I was thinking that it was going to be another piece of cake, and boy was I wrong. Well, actually to be quite honest the retrieval itself was uneventful, but I wound up having a bad reaction to the anesthesia this time around and came out hysterically sobbing. I also managed to rip the oxygen mask off and fling it behind the bed...yes folks, all while still being completely out of it. Let me tell you that when Hubby told me what I did I was mortified, to say the least! I did read somewhere that sometimes anesthesia can give you nightmares while you're out and you will wake up not remembering them, so perhaps that's what happened? Needless to say, Hubs thought it was quite funny, and I sat there the rest of the time wanting to kick him. I did also have some major cramping and pretty bad gas pains afterwards, but nothing a hot pack and some Tylenol with Codeine couldn't cure. So anyway, by the time of retrieval I had 18 follies, out of which they got 6 mature eggs (one less than we had last time). We left there pretty happy with those results and praying that we'd have some fighters!!

On Saturday we were called with our fertilization report, and out of the 6 we had four fertilize!! I dropped to my knees praising God, and we spent the rest of the weekend hoping those four would make it to transfer.

We got our call Monday morning that our transfer was scheduled for 12:15, so we knew some of them must have made it. However, the nurses can't tell you anything until you get there, which honestly, I think is just ridiculous! I mean, come on! Anyway, 12:15 sharp I started to drink and we were brought back to recovery. I drank, and drank, and drank. They came in with the portable ultrasound to make sure my bladder was full, told the doctor we were ready to go, and in he came...out of our four, three had made it!! Out of those three, one was six cells and two were five cells!! Here they are in all their glory...


So all in all, MUCH better results this time around. There was 30% fragmentation on one of the five cells (left), but the other two looked great. He suggested putting back in all three, so that's what we did and now we wait! I go in tomorrow morning to have my hormone levels checked and then a pregnancy test next Friday.

Sooo, other than hitting a vein in my butt cheek the other night while doing my progesterone shot (Holy pain!!!) and some random heartburn, I'm feeling pretty good! We're just trying to take it day by day and stay calm. At this point in time, I can't even picture myself pregnant anymore, so if it does happen it will be a shock. Either way, we know that we have no control over the results. It's already decided what will happen by the Big Guy upstairs, so why get ourselves all worked up? That's not to say that if the test is negative we won't be upset, but I'm just feeling so much more at peace with this cycle. Not sure if it's partly due to the acupuncture or something else, but it's strange and comforting. So my dears, I'll leave you with that and with my sincerest thanks for all your prayers and well wishes! It's true that prayer really does work!

"When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."
(Psalm 94:19).

TRIGGER Happy!!

Well, after 13 DAYS of stimming we've finally made it to trigger day!! Estrogen was perfect at 2,523 and progesterone was at 0.5. Two Ovidrel tonight at 9:30 on the dot, and retrieval is scheduled for Friday morning at 8:00!!! Here's where we stand today, and I might add that somewhere along the line I've managed to gain an add'l 5 FOLLIES...no idea how that happened, but praise God nonetheless!!!!

"Righty"
2 @ 10mm
1 @ 13mm
1 @ 15mm
3 @ 17mm
1 @ 19mm
1 @ 20mm

"Lefty"
4 @ 10mm
2 @ 13mm
1 @ 15mm
1 @ 17mm
1 @ 18mm

Sooo, one last monitoring appointment tomorrow morning and then it's on like Donkey Kong! Lol! I'll also be visiting St. Gerard again tomorrow, and have another acupuncture appointment as well. I'm covering all bases this time! With that being said, if you have a moment to spare this evening, please lift us up in prayer. We can use all we can get over the next few days!!

"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him."
(Jeremiah 17:7).

Almost there...

Well, as of 1:47 this afternoon, I am happy to say that we're almost to the end of the stimming phase!! Praise God and hallelujah, because this Lupron has turned me into a walking zombie with a daily migraine, blech!! I'm scared, nervous and hopeful all at the same time. I've somehow allowed Hope to creep in there again. How is beyond me, but I'm feeling so at peace this cycle, that I'm guessing that's why. Anyway, here's where we stand today...

"Righty"
1 @ 14mm
3 @ 15mm
1 @ 16mm
1 @ 17mm

"Lefty"
2 @ 10mm and under
3 @ 11mm-13mm
1 @ 15mm
1 @ 18mm

More blood work and another ultrasound tomorrow morning, and then we should be triggering tomorrow night! WOW!! There was a moment this morning where they thought that might happen tonight, but Dr. Wonderful is banking on the "cluster" of follies in my left ovary to surge ahead tonight with the last of the stims. He explained to me that while we do have some pretty good, larger sized follies on each ovary, he's hoping he can get 'ol Lefty to catch up. All in all, I'm pretty happy with these numbers and am just praying that we're able to get some quality eggs from them. At this point in time, I'm praying for quality over quantity. We have about the same number of follies as last time, so we'll see. I'm crossing everything!

Saturday...

Well, I knew this post could go one of two ways, and I'm glad to say that as of this morning's blood work and ultrasound...WE HAVE GROWTH!! Praise God!! Here's the run down:

"Righty" (usually referred to as "Lazy Righty")
5 @ 12mm
2 @ 13mm

"Lefty" (usually referred to as "Superstar"...not so much this time)
4 @ 10mm
2 @ 13mm

I go back in for b/w and u/s Tuesday morning, and Nurse Sweetie Pie anitcipates that we'll probably be taking the Ovidrel on either Tuesday or Wednesday...gaaaahhhh!!! Now we're just praying for continued growth, resulting in good quality eggs. On Friday afternoon, I made a trek to the shrine of St. Gerard with my good friend K :::waves Hi!:::, and it looks like prayers DO get answered!

Please Lord, continue to watch over us as we walk this path to parenthood. We know that with You, all things are possible.

""Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it, and it will be yours."
(Mark 11:22, 24).

Worrying & Acupuncture

Happy Friday everyone!! I am so glad this work week is almost over...whew! I'm really looking forward to spending some quality time with the Hubby this weekend! Work has been so busy for him since the Spring, and he's finally getting a whole weekend off, YAY!! I have a birthday brunch for my SIL Sunday morning and then my niece's pool party that afternoon, and I'm thinking maybe a date night tomorrow? I'm itching to see Transfor.mers, so we'll see...

Anyway, I've been hesitant to post an update from my blood work and ultrasound on Wednesday. Mostly because there's not much to update you guys on. Somewhere in between Monday and Wednesday I've managed to "lose" 2 follicles. How, you might be asking yourself, is that possible? I have no idea. I'm chalking it up to the fact that, with our clinic, you pretty much see a different Dr. every time you go for morning monitoring and they all read the ultrasounds differently. I voiced my concerns to our Nurse, because lets face it, I need all the follies I can get, and she said the same thing. Strike two - there wasn't any progress, growth wise, with the follies and that had me really concerned. Again, my Nurse tried to assure me that it was still a little early to see follicle growth. With our first IVF cycle, we did have a little growth by CD8, but not a big difference. Seriously though? I'm pumping enormous amounts of drugs into my body and nothing? I'm trying to stay positive, and remind myself that you only need ONE egg to get the job done, but I'm just.so.scared. What if I go in tomorrow and I'm still stuck with follies <10? What if they wind up cancelling our cycle? What if we've spent all this money, yet again, and I still wind up not having anything to show for it? I mean, you guys know how it goes...the questions just go on, and on, and on...I know that there's really nothing I can do about it. It is what it is, and I'm just going to try and give it up to God and let Him be in control. Oh, yeah and also trying to just breeeeaaathe!!!

Okay, so enough Debbie Downer for today....

Onto my acupuncture appointment. Let me just say this, for those of you who have never done it or are scared to do it...DO IT!!! Even if not for "fertility" reasons, just give it a chance and I promise you that you will not be disappointed! Of course, I was a little nervous when I arrived at the office, but Dr. K really took the time to talk me through everything. She took a complete medical history, measured my pulse and explained everything that was going to happen. She wound up putting about 20 needles into various parts of my body, really focusing on the fertility aspect of it. She also put a heat lamp over my abdomen once she had all the needles in, and let me tell you, it was heaven!! Apparently, a warm abdomen helps to promote a snuggly uterus, which in turn helps with embryo implantation. Who knew! There was one instance where she put a needle into my hand that wasn't exactly pleasant, but she remedied it right away and explained that certain needles can feel "heavier" in parts of the body that carry more stress. Anyway, I wound up falling asleep, that's how relaxed I was. I woke up refreshed and with so much energy, and have been sleeping like a baby ever since! We're going to work a little more on stress management next week, and she even said we might have some time for a neck massage! Woohoo!!

Soooo, this post turned out a lot longer that I had anticipated, but I do feel much better now! I hope all you lovelies out there have a beautiful weekend, and if you can, send up a few prayers for us!

SQUEEEEE!!!

So I just found out that they've moved the release date for Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince up to July 15th!! Gaaaah, I can't wait!!! This movie looks to be one of the best ones yet!! Here's a peek...