All's quiet...

Not much to report on...finally got our paperwork sent back out to the RE last Friday (thanks Hubby!). They're supposed to call us to confirm everything, so hopefully I didn't miss filling anything in (although I'm sure I forgot to put in A's SSN# somewhere)...does anyone know why they even need that info (?), and I couldn't for the life of me remember my blood type and of course couldn't find my little card from when I last donated! Ugh! I'm honestly surprised that they neglected to ask me for my shoe size, since it seems like they asked for everything else!

Anyway, as I was fulfilling my daily addiction to P.eople.com, I found this oh so interesting article which really burned my biscuits to say the least...take a peek if you've got a minute to spare.

And lastly I just wanted to say thanks to those ladies who offered up prayers and kind words on my last post. As so many of you know, dealing with IF can really bring you down. Even though "we" all know we're not alone going through it, sometimes the reality of it all just eats us up and makes us feel like we're the only ones. Some days staying positive just isn't an option. You guys really made re-group and look at all the positive things that have come out of this journey so far, and I really appreciate that...thanks!

"May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done." (Ruth 2:12).

I'd like some cheese with my whine...

Well, we missed it. Our last chance to make a baby on our own. I feel like such a failure. What is wrong with my body? Why can't I just.get.pregnant?!?! We put our all into it every month and nothing.

I held off as long as I could filling out the paperwork for the RE consult we have on October 8th...it should have been sent in on Tuesday...I still haven't finished it. I really thought that maybe by some slim chance that this would have been our month. Who was I kidding? I guess I should be happy that we at least have some kind of plan in motion, but I could just cry. It's been 17 MONTHS...1 YEAR and 5 MONTHS!!! Life's certainly not fair and I'm just so done.

Forward movement...

Well, A had his SA last Monday and we've gotten the results...although I really don't have any idea what they mean. Our PCP said that everything was normal, and when I G.oogled "normal SA results" I couldn't really understand those either when comparing them to A's. If there's someone out there who can shed some light on what these numbers mean, and if they really are "normal", please help!

Volume 2.0ML
Viscosity Normal
PH(Semen) 8.5
Progressive Motil 60%
Sperm Concentration 33.0
WBC 7 to 10
% Normal Morphology 25%
Specimen Temperature 22.0 Celsius

In other news, I also had my appt. with my new Ob/Gyn last Tuesday, and let me just say that I absolutely love her!! I had my annual, got refills for my PNV's and she referred us to an RE...yup, finally a plan is in motion! We have our initial consultation on 10/8. I got the packet of paperwork in the mail yesterday that needs to be filled out prior to our appt. and HOLY COW!! I think the only thing they didn't ask me was my shoe size! I am just so happy that A is on board with everything. It's actually quite amazing to think that if everything goes as planned, we just might be PG by the end of 2008! I'm keeping everything crossed and thanking God every day for taking our hands and leading us down this road. I know that with Him anything is possible!

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him."
(Psalms 28:6-7).

Remembering...7 years ago today

I remember exactly where I was, what I was doing...even what I was wearing. I'm still finding it hard to believe that it's been SEVEN years already since our country was attacked on September 11, 2001.

Where does the time go?

I know so many of us are still grieving for loved one's lost in the attacks. It literally brings me to my knees when I think about all the innocent lives lost, and all those that were/have been/are being affected still by our nation's tragedy.

I will go down on bended knees tonight to pray for comfort for all those that are still grieving...to pray for our brave soldiers that are still fighting the fight over sea's. I have never been prouder to be an AMERICAN and I WILL NEVER FORGET!!!

Making some headway...

on the TTC front. I know I said a few weeks ago that A was finally able to schedule his SA. Unfortunately, with all that was going on with Dad at the time and a few other unforeseen circumstances, we weren't able to keep the apt. Well, A was able to reschedule it for Monday morning!!!

If you can spare them, please send up some prayers for us that we get back good numbers. I am trying to stay positive that all is well. I have an apt. with my new ObGyn on Tuesday, so hopefully we can finally get this ball rolling!! After all, it's only been 16 MONTHS!!!

Back to reality

Tuesday...only three days left. I can't believe it's already been a week and three days since Dad passed away.

Last week was a long, draining week and I'm so glad it's over. Saturday was Dad's memorial service, and everything went beautifully! The weather held out, the flowers were lovely, the bagpiper piped and my Mom received my Dad's American flag for his service in the Korean War. I, along with my brother, was actually able to get up and give a eulogy and there wasn't a dry eye in the church (including my own!). The re passe' afterwards was wonderful, and we were all so touched to see how many people were there for us. It was a wonderful tribute to my Dad! It was a long day but the hard work was well worth it...after all, it was for my Dad.

Now it's back to reality...and moving on. Not forgetting my Dad, but learning how to live life again. Mourning for a beautiful life lost, but celebrating Dad's homecoming with our Lord and the rest of our family. What a welcome I know he had, and what a comfort it is to my to know that I'll forever have my Dad watching out for me until we meet again.

I just want to thank all of our family and friends, both IRL and who read my blog for your prayers, support and kind words. It means so much to my family and myself to know that we have such a wonderful support system out there.

And a thank you to my Dad...for being such a wonderful man, for being my rock, for being my friend.

I love you Dad and always will!! Until we meet again...I'll be swinging those clubs for you! XOXO

We've lost a great man...

my Dad. The man who dried my tears, picked me up when I was down, kissed my cheeks and taught me to be the person I am today. I can't get my head around it and don't have many words. I can't possibly convey to anyone what a great man my Dad was...it's impossible. He was a Son, a Brother, a Husband, a Dad, a Pop-Pop and a Great Poppy. He was devoted to his family, his God; a man that words fall short of describing. I was lucky enough to have been raised by the man and was blessed to have him in my life for thirty-three years, but it was still to short.

I know that God welcomed him with open arms. I know that he's not suffering anymore...there is no more pain. Life and death are such a double-edged sword. For my Dad, I just couldn't bear to say good-bye, and yet I knew in my heart that it was the only way for him to find peace. He is with our Heavenly father now, not confined to a bed any longer, but walking tall with a smile on his face. I know that someday my Dad will be there to welcome me and I can't wait to feel his arms around me again.


I don't know who's reading this blog...if any one's reading at all, but if you are and you feel so inclined to send up a thought or prayer for this wonderful man, I thank you and my family thanks you from the bottom of our hearts.

Rest in Peace Daddy...we miss you so much. You'll forever be in our hearts.

"God watched you as you suffered,

and knew you had your share.

He gently closed your weary eyes

and took you in his care.
Your memory is our keepsake,

with that we will never part.

God has you in his keeping,

we have you in our hearts.
Nothing could be more beautiful

than the memories we have of you.

To us you were someone special.

God must have thought so too.
All our lives we shall miss you,

as the years they come and go,

but in our hearts you will live forever.

Because we love you so.
God saw you were getting tired,

and a cure was not to be.

So he put his arms around you

and whispered "Come with me"
With tearful eyes we watched you

suffer and fade away.

Although we loved you dearly,

you were not meant to stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,

hard- working hands to rest.

God broke our hearts to prove to us,

He only takes the best!"